Slap weh, Tek, Yudone know?

I overheard a conversation the other day. I wasn’t eavesdropping, well not intentionally. I was holding the dog outside a shop while waiting for my other half. A young lad around 15 I suppose, all testosterone but not yet shaving sort of age, was on the phone, I presume to a friend. The conversation went a bit like this: Hi bruv, yeah wassup, cool man etc etc. The strange thing was, this young man was very blond, very English and wearing a blazer from a local private school and yet he was speaking in a loud pseudo Jamaican accent. Now I have two problems with this. One, I can’t understand what they are talking about and the other, (and this is not just an age thing) I resent that they don’t want to be English any more. I suspect this started with the rappers (another pet hate of mine and this probably is an age thing) That is fine if they are Jamaican but if not, why not use English?

We are so lucky to have the country we have, probably one of the most tolerant in the world. We have history going back hundreds of years, we have great traditions like cheese rolling down hills and carrying barrels of tar set on fire through the streets of the village. We have morris dancers with bells and sticks and proper pubs with gardens and fish and chips and every year we burn effigy’s of our so-called traitors. Why of why would you want to pretend to be from the Caribbean and lose the wonderful English accent that is admired around the world. Mind you, it’s not just the pseudo Caribbean thing I have a problem with, it’s the “only way is Essex” thing as well. Now I have a shock bit of news – the only way is not essex! The word Like does not have to be in every sentence such as “well she was like and he was like”. How boring it makes the conversation!! And wicked does not mean it’s nice, it means its more likely to be evil! And how rude of people to say “Shut Up” when I tell them something interesting (or maybe I’m deluded and they are just telling me to shut up)

How am I supposed to be “with it” and stay young if I haven’t a clue whats being said! More importantly I think it is so sad that so many people want to follow a trend like lemmings heading for the cliff when they could be individuals and therefore so much more interesting.

I love individuality! I love the people who are different, who have a spark about them with the courage to have a go and follow-up their somewhat mad ideas. Life is so very short. I’ll let you into a secret. Silverteen comes from the fact I am elderly so fall into the “silver” category – and how annoying is that! Silver surfers, silver splitters, silver line and to cap it all, silver tsunami relating the increasing number of older people. So yes I come into the silver category but that’s only on the outside. I’m still seventeen inside! The passing of the years is very frightening, suddenly the time has gone and the time in front is much much shorter. That means every day should be enjoyed. It doesn’t matter what you do as long as you make the best of the day. I love Jenny Josephs poem called “When I am an Old Woman I Shall Wear Purple “ I’m in her camp!!

Next time I write to you it going to be about clothing…..Oh don’t get me started………

By the way, just to help you, the translation of the title is Awesome, fabulous, do you understand!

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