Art or Hibernation?

I love Summer, especially the warmth and being out of doors. Over the last two years I have however begun to dislike Winter. I think this is because I feel the cold more and so this year I decided that I would develop new hobbies to keep me busy.

This should be quite an easy thing to do but it hasn’t quite worked out that way.

My first thought was that I should “Join” something. I brought up a list of things I could join within a large radius of where I live and it was then I realised that this was going to be harder than I thought.

The WI and local Flower group ( as lovely as they are) were immediately dismissed – its just not my thing. Teaching at the – and here it comes again – Silver Surfers Club was also filed WPB. The badminton group has a two year waiting list and so does the table tennis club, so even if they had let me in with my poor standard of getting balls or shuttles back over the nets, it’s a no go!

I then tried the bowls club ( they do it indoors in winter). This was a real laugh, we had to be ‘interviewed” to see if we are suitable – the cheek of it! They decided we were but when they said I had to wear a grey pleated skit and a white blouse to go and play there, I decided that they definitely were not suitable! They commented that they found it hard to get young people – I wonder why! What a lot of snobbery is connected to these groups.

I hate golf, I hate gyms, too old for hockey (they can all run faster than me now) and It’s a bit cold and wet for winter. Having decided that the club side of things is just not for me, I turned my attention to arts and crafts.

Now I don’t have an artistic gene in my body, I can’t paint, I can’t draw. Knitting is boring and so is sewing. The last time I made a blouse was about forty years ago and somehow I had three sleeves – you see why I’m not keen? I think that you also have to have a science degree to get a sewing machine working!

I do have one talent, I can weave but only scarves and all my friends and relatives have cupboards full of my scarves so it is a bit of a waste of time really.

In desperation I took myself off to a large arts and crafts shop. It was like a paradise for clever people. From cake decorating to glueing paper on boxes to make them look pretty, sewing, embroidery, pottery, card making, model building I was spoilt for choice. However I jumped in, bought a cardboard tissue box, some pretty paper and a pot of glue and a brush. I was assured by the sales lady that I would absolutely love it and nothing could go wrong. Oh I should have known better!

Three hours in the conservatory, me, a pot of glue and a brush – what a recipe for disaster! There was more paper stuck to my fingers and my glass table than to the box. I ran out of paper despite the sales lady saying I had plenty and would become an addict to my new hobby. I don’t think so. It took me ages to scrape the glue off my fingers and the brush and the box I had to throw away – once I had detached them from my table. Another idea down the pan.

And so I am still facing Winter without a new hobby. I shall just have to stick to my computer games and my books. However my friend has come up with the idea that once a month, we should do something we have never done before. Her list includes pole dancing, abseiling, belly dancing, rally driving, archery, horse racing, bell ringing and morris dancing! Her plan is that we just turn up and try these things without joining anything. If we don’t fancy it when we get there we will just go to the pub, which in my book is a much better idea.

So I am going to remain useless this winter and just snuggle down into hibernation like my tortoises and stick my nose out just occasionally to try something new. I have decided that I quite like hibernation!

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